Appu, Seigi, Umou, Sasuko Zamawomiro!
by Siyui No Akatsuki
Summary: When Kokoro Boshi was younger, she worked for Kisuke Urahara in the Twelfth Company. Now, 101 years later, she's still a scientist, but she's out to get her rival from all those years back... And that's Akon! But, when did he get so... hot? AkonxOC AkonOC


**Siyui: ^sitting at a desk^ Hello, my good Bleach fans. This is Siyui-No-Akatsuki reporting to you, here to present you a story of love, friendship, and, most of all, a story showing you that with the power of a bond between two people, you can overcome all and anythi— ^punched in the face^**

**Akon: Stop saying stupid things.**

**Siyui: Aw, Akon-nii-chan~! Why are you so mean to me, desu~!**

**Akon: ^silence^**

**Siyui: Nii-chan? **

**^silence^**

**Siyui: Aw, he left… Anyway, here's the disclaimer!!! **

_**I, Siyui-No-Akatsuki, do not own Bleach, or any of its characters. I only own Kokoro Boshi, and her insane personality. So, please don't take that, okay? ^sniffle^ She's all I got… ^wails^ WHY'D YAH LEAVE, AKON-NII-CHAN?!?! ^starts bawling^**_

**Akon: That's why. ^turns to readers^ You can start reading now.**

**___________________**

**Appu, Seigi, Umou, Sasuko... Zamawomiro!**

**(Up, Right, Down, Left… See What Happens!)**

**Chapter One… KUCHIATE!!!**

**__________________**

_**101 Years Ago (Turn Back The Pendulum Arc)**_

_ "Kuru-sama?" After awhile, Mayuri had just stopped trying to get her to stop calling him that. The little girl couldn't pronounce his last name, so she had just settled for shorting it._

_ "Yes?" He answered exasperatedly, not even looking at the tiny child._

_ "Were the things you told me to mix supposed to explode when coming in contact with…" She didn't finish her statement, hoping that he would just tell her that he didn't care._

_ "With _what_?" _

_ "Er… Air…"_

_ "YOU IDIOT!!!!" Kokoro Boshi eeped at Mayuri's explosion. "YOU HAD TO HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID TO HAVE GOTTEN THAT!! YOU WERE MAKING A COMMON SOLVENT!!!"_

_ "G-gomennasien…" Mayuri just twitched for a few seconds, before rubbing the bridge of his nose._

_ "Just get Akon to do it." Kokoro's little face scowled at the mention of her…_ archrival_._

_ "I can do it myself…" She grumbled to herself, crossing her arms. "I don't even know where he is, Kuru-sama," She added happily, a smile on her face._

_ "I'm right here, _Bakoro_." Kokoro visibly stiffened, slowly craning her neck to look at the young scientist-in-training._

"_Well, I didn't know that since you were sneaking around,_ Youjion." _Mayuri sighed audibly, closing his ears. _

_ "Retard."_

_ "Fishface."_

_ "Dirt Licker."_

_ "Crap-Eyes"_

_ "Cheesebrain." _

_ "Sixty-Third In-Command."_

_"Sixty-_Fourth _In-Command." Kokoro stood there and fumed, glaring at the passive look on Akon's face._

_ "So, how are my researchers doing?" Urahara asked jovially, Hiyori standing right next to him, her eyebrow twitching slightly. Mayuri shot Urahara a somewhat desperate look, looking from him to the two bickering young canvassers. _

_ Sighing, before even Urahara could do anything, Hiyori walked over to both of them, grabbed the top of their heads (surprising both of them) and slammed their foreheads together. "There, problem solved." Kokoro was holding her head in pain while Akon looked expressionless, but there was a red mark on his forehead._

_ Urahara smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Ya didn't have to do that, Hiyori…" _

_ "It got them to shut up, didn't it?"_

**___________101 years later____ Bakoro is like "Baka" and "Kokoro" put together. Youji means baby, and she just put it with Akon. Just thought I should explain that.**

Renji rolled his eyes. "What are you even_ doing_ in here?" He asked. It was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence— Renji was actually doing his paperwork.

"I'm revolting."

"From what exactly?"

"The harbingers of mental pain to my psychological being."

"So you just don't want to do your work?"

"…Pretty much." Renji threw Kokoro a amused look, instantly (and randomly) giving up on the idea of doing paperwork.

"Slacker." A pair of lackadaisical bright green eyes looked into Renji's eyes.

"You're more of a slacker than I am." Renji's smirk turned into a frown.

"Bleh."

"KOKORO!!!!" At the sound of yell, Kokoro stiffened a little bit. Renji's grin returned, as he pointed out the window.

"Seems like your being summoned." She glared at him, jumping to the window.

"Very funn—"

"KOKORO GET YOUR ASS IN HERE _NOW_!"

"I didn't know Mayuri's voice could range so far." That was the last thing Kokoro heard Renji say as she ran at top speed back to the Twelfth Company.

_I didn't think he'd realize that I was gone that quickly unless…_ Her brows drew together as she glared at absolutely nothing. _He's probably gonna say that he let it 'slip' that I wasn't there and that I was 'once again shirking on my duties.' Stupid doofus…_

She walked through the gates, tip toeing so no one would hear her.

"Mayuri's pissed at ya." Kokoro shrieked as loud as possible for at least a minute, before glaring at the owner of the voice.

"What's wrong with you, Akon?!" She looked down for a fraction of a second, "All appearing out thin air and whatnot…"

"I didn't 'appear out of thin air,' as you put it." Kokoro could clearly see the smirk tugging at the edges of his lips— he had meant to scare her.

"Jerk," she muttered more to herself than to him. "So… Kuru wanna kill me?" Akon nodded, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You know you were supposed to finish that report before sundown, right?" Kokoro's eyes widened.

"W-w-what?! I thought it was d-due at sunrise?!" He just shrugged. "Y-you told me that it was due at sunrise!"

"No I didn't." He replied simply, expressionless. Kokoro stopped in the street to point an accusing finger at him.

"Yes you did!" Her arm fell down to her side as she hung her head. "I was there…"

Truth was, that is _exactly_ what Akon had said, purely just to mess with her. He knew that she always waited until the last minute to do all of her reports, paperwork, assignments, etc, and he wanted to get her back for always getting away with it. Mayuri had a strict policy for people who forgot to do there paperwork or turned it in late: give them even more paperwork. This had happened to Akon once, and Mayuri had given him ALL of Kokoro's paperwork. _For the whole entire month._

Who _wouldn't _be pissed?

Kokoro was running in circles, spazzing, wondering if she should go and hide from her captain, or if she should face him bravely. Deciding on the former, she started to run off, but Akon caught the back of her uniform.

"Forgot ta mention. Mayuri had sent me to get ya." Kokoro slowly turned around, glaring at her captor.

"You…You planned this all along, didn't you?" Akon just shrugged again, dragging her off to her doom, the doom waiting in the Research and Development Lab.

**I love this story already, and this is my first chapter typed… Yeppers~!**

** First Person, desu~~!**

A fought back a whimper as I was yelled at.

"Does your small mind even comprehend how valuable those papers were?!" I shook my head; I knew that if I said yes, it would just bring more screaming.

"No, Mayuri-sama…" I refrained from using the nickname that I usually called him; I didn't want to make him angrier…

"You are going to stay up until every single page of paperwork in this room is complete, _do you understand_?!" He hissed, pointing skeleton-white fingers towards the lines of desks with sheet after sheet of paperwork lining them.

"Understood, Mayuri-sama…" The captain stomped off to his private lab, no doubt muttering under his breath about things I didn't want to know.

Scowling, I plopped down into my seat, glaring at my adversary: the paperwork.

"I hate you." I said out loud, wishing that the papers could hear me. "Why must you do this to me? I was sure that Akon had said it was due tomorrow, not today…" I was just sure; I was _dead_ sure that he had said that it was due at sunrise. Either I had terrible hearing, or Akon had lied to me.

And I know for a fact that I have perfect hearing, if not better than most.

So, that bastard had freaking lied to me.

Oh, I'll get him back for this.

__________

Akon was very proud of himself, and everybody knew it.

When anyone would ask him, "Where's Kokoro?" He would reply, with a tint of smugness in his voice, "Doing paperwork." And when they asked him, "What about your paperwork?" his smug grin would grow as he responds, "Already taken care of."

No, he wouldn't say that he had already done it; he would just say that it was taken care of, mainly because he didn't want to lie. Kokoro was doing all of her paperwork AND his, leaving him to have a rare occasion of free time to do whatever he wanted. Whether that resorted in going out the Twelfth Company or just staying there and reading a book, he would be happy.

But, he had decided to do neither of those things. Rather, he had decided that he would rather pay his… _savior_, a little visit.

__________

"Akon, I hate you." Another page finished.

"Akon, I'm going to strangle your face." Two more pages.

"Akon, you're going to die in seven days."

"Akon, I'm going to shove a test tube up your ass and down your throat." Five, six, seven more.

Apparently, it was easier to do paperwork when you're POed. And, it's even more fun.

"Akon, I'm going t—"

"Why are you so angry?" I stiffened a tiny bit, craning my neck to the voice behind me.

"What do _you_ want?" I hissed, venom seeping through my words. Akon blinked, donning a seemingly innocent look.

"What?" I stood up from my chair, the glare on my face growing.

"Oh, you know what you did." I jeered, walking over to him. "And you knew what would happen, too."

I saw his lips quiver, as if trying not to smirk. "What did I do?" I poked him in the chest, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.

"You. Lied." I growled, watching his face for his reaction.

It was silent until he said smugly, "Aren't you suppose to be doing paperwork?" My eyebrow twitched as I just glared at him.

And glared at him…

And glared at him until… I tackled him to the ground.

"YOU… BASTARD!!!" I tried punching in his grinning face, missing every time as he just dodged it with his faster-than-most reflexes.

After a while, my arms had gotten tired of punching the floor beside his head and hung by my sides as I huffed a little.

"You tired?" He sniped at me, raising a hairless brow at me. My eye twitched again at his comment.

"Oh, you want me to—" Rin opened the door to the office, holding a stack of papers.

"Kokoro-sama, more—" He stopped suddenly, eyes wide. "G-g-gomennasien…" he ran out the room at light speed, not looking back.

That's when I realized what this looked like.

Us… On the floor… Me… On top of him…

Akon shrugged impassively. "You're the one who's straddling me."

**___________ The Next Day___________________________**

Apparently, when Mayuri had said that I had to do "every single page of paperwork in this room" he also meant all the paperwork that still had to be brought in.

And the paperwork that had yet to be on the freakin' company's _grounds_.

And the paperwork Mayuri had no-doubt just created to punish me.

Now, I didn't really mind that (the paperwork wasn't that hard), it was just that it wasn't _even my fault_.

A sinister grin spread across my face as I looked up at the clock.

_11: 53am_

Only seven more minutes until my payback started…

* * *

**A/N: Yatta! First Chapter el fine!! So… Did ya like it? I've only seen two, TWO, AkonxOC stories, both by the same person, and it made me angry! I love Akon to death!! Ah, he's my hero. I can't wait to get the next chapter typed up!!**

**Mayuri: All of you review…**

**Siyui: ^blinking, surprised^ Wow. This is the first time I didn't have to ask anybody to review.**

**Mayuri: Yes… But I need more test subject… REVIEW…!!!**

**Siyui: Er… Yeah. Anyway, PREVIEW:**

**Chapter 2: Appu **

_Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man_

_You wanna stay alive, better do what you can_

_So beat it, just beat it_

_ "Where the hell is that music coming from?!" Akon asked himself out loud as the famous Michael Jackson song rung through his ears. "Seriously?!"_

_ "That is very certainly a personal problem, Ako-chan." He knew she was up to something when she calls him 'Ako-chan.' _

_ Glaring at her, he instantly knew that this was her doing._

_ "What's wrong?" Cue slight eye twitch._

_**Siyui: Review, desu~!**_


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